How to Create More Balance - The Positivity Ratio

Here is something we all can relate with. You just accomplished something big, and everyone is complimenting you, giving you positive remarks, and telling you how great it was. Then, one person tells you how you did it wrong, that it wasn’t great and that you “just got lucky.” From that one negative remark, all of the positives seem like less than they were before. There were one hundred positive comments, but the one negative comment is the one that stuck with you. Why is that? Why does this happen, and what can we do to make the positives powerful again?

This power imbalance happens because our brains are hard-wired for negative affect. Affect is our sensations, emotions, and attitude towards something. Negative affect registers in the brain as something being wrong and needing to be focused on. Through evolution, our brains have become proficient in addressing negative situations for survival and problem-solving, but in today’s world, these negative situations are not life or death, but our brains react to them like they are. Depending on the situation, this can activate the fight-or-flight mechanism resulting in a rush of adrenaline causing increased heart rate, body temperature, and muscle tension. All of this activity stems from negative affect.

Positive affect, on the other hand, does not have this same impact. Studies show that for optimal functioning, there is a specific ratio of positive-to-negative affect that must be met. The ratio is 2.9, meaning that a person needs three times more positive affect than negative for maximized personal well-being and functioning. It also means that negative affect MUST be experienced and felt because without it, maximum functioning cannot be reached. Living an optimally functioning life does not mean one without negativity; in fact, it requires it.

There can be no good without bad, no success without failure, and no ups without downs. Personal traits like perseverance and resilience cannot exist without first having experienced something to persevere through. The key to all of this is about creating the right balance between positives and negatives experiences in our lives, and with it we can achieve a higher quality of life.